Jackpot Jane (a.k.a. JJ), editor-in-chief of WTGBingo.com, has sifted through online bingo adverts for the most frightening fashion faux pas. Can you spot them?
Tired of her usual work reviewing new bingo sites and in desperate need of a cathartic release, Jackpot Jane has targeted all her pent up frustration at online bingo advertisements, and in particular at those in dire need of a visit from the fashion police! Maybe it doesn't surprise you to hear that adverts for bingo sites are not the place to go searching for top fashion tips? But still, who knew things had sunk so low?!
What follows then is a walk of shame for some of Britain's top bingo sites, or at least the actors in their adverts. For what it's worth JJ comments that, "it's nothing personal"; which is similar to the sort of thing you hear the shoplifter say as an excuse for stealing a new dress but in this case I think we'll let her off!
So here in reverse order of need-for-fashion-rehab are the WTGBingo editor's chief appearance-abusers. And if you want to see the original advertisements then she has collected them together on one page of bingo adverts, which is also where you can read her full ruthless criticism of these wayward bingo wardrobes.
5. Wink Bingo – Dancing Delinquent
In this advert from late 2009, JJ claims she's reminded, "a bit too much of the Exorcist". Harsh! Even ignoring the fact that seeing a woman crawling on the ceiling is a little bit frightening, she claims it's the woman's pink pyjamas with their white heart-shaped pattern that really gave her the heeby-jeebies. However, she acknowledges, on reflection, that there may not be such a thing as a 'pyjama fashion crime'.
Anything goes once you're under the covers, according to some fashion critics.
In JJ's view this statement now needs revising: "Almost anything...".
4. Paddy Power – Ironing Illegality
Statistics show that everybody has at least one checked shirt in their wardrobe. But Jackpot Jane believes that this is a big mistake. "The checked shirt should never be allowed past the closet doors," she says, adding: "unless the doors belong to a lumberjack".
In this advert from Paddy Power bingo there is a fine example of a checked shirt fashion crime - look out for the woman doing the ironing. She doesn't even speak one word during the 30 second advert so it's impossible to tell whether she is aware of her clothing misdemeanour.
3. Dream Bingo – Frilly Felony
You will have to be quick for this one: 16 seconds into this advert for this no deposit bingo site a girl appears wearing a purple top that could make Judge Judy blush with all its frilly bits. At least in this case she apparently has an inkling it's not quite right because she asks her friends, "do you like this top". As JJ observes, "bless her cottons she looks ridiculous and her friends can do nothing more than ignore her and carry on playing bingo".
2. Foxy Bingo – Sweater Sins
JJ may have walked into a blind alley here - this is the first time anyone has ever called into question a fox's wardrobe choices. It feels a bit like criticising a rabbit for eating too much salad. Having said that, the Fox in question does look like a criminal, of some kind or other. If his usual purple suit weren't bad enough in this 'Foxy photo shoot' he appears wearing a purple golfing jumper!
Maybe foxes just should not be seen wearing clothes full stop.
1. Wink Bingo – Transgressing TOWIE
But Jackpot Jane's award for the biggest bingo advert fashion crime goes to the young dark-haired Essex lady who appears in the Wink advert coinciding with its sponsorship of The Only Way is Essex (TOWIE). At first it is hard to put your finger on just what is wrong with the picture comments JJ. Her criticism will sound unfair to some: "Then you see it - she's wearing so much makeup you don't know whether you're looking at a girl or an animated avatar!"
Unfair or not, it was about time someone took it upon themselves to delve into the dark world of bingo adverts' fashion crimes.
How did we ever live without Jackpot Jane's insights?!
For more info, go to www.wtgbingo.com or contact JJ directly at: email@example.com
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