the most popular ‘must do’ for any would-be philanderer is to get a second Pay As You Go phone
David Petreaus can breath a sigh of relief at least about one thing – that the classified information which his alleged paramour Paula Broadwell got hold of, ‘probably didn’t come from him.’ So the FBI’s findings reveal.
Phew for Petreaus. The former head of the CIA, who resigned a week ago, gave his lover access to his Gmail account so they could communicate without trace. But oops! She went on to use it not just for smoochy messages but – it’s alleged – to send threats to a potential love rival. That’s how the whole thing came to light.
Even the most novice adulterer should know that there are more sophisticated ways to communicate with one’s clandestine lover than sharing an email account. Maritalaffair.co.uk, the UK’s most popular affairs and adult dating website, has asked its members to share some similar schoolboy cheating errors.
The survey found the most popular ‘must do’ for any would-be philanderer is to get a second Pay As You Go phone, which can be picked up for around GBP20. The more sneaky members of the website revealed how they disguise the names in the address book with names of people of the same sex as them. To help confusion, some advised using the same first initial, so that the false name triggers your memory for your actual date’s name.
Other popular precautions included always paying in cash at restaurants, bars or theatres – unless it’s daytime hours, which can pass as a business lunch. Always rid pockets of receipts (but don’t put it in the home rubbish). Others joked that it’s important ‘to have sex with your partner with the same frequency in case they get suspicious.’ And ‘Don’t try to introduce fancy new positions you’ve learned elsewhere.’
Maritalaffair.co.uk asked more than 100 of its member’s open questions on close scrapes for getting caught and advice for a first-time cheater.
“I took my lover to a hotel in London. She obviously left her necklace because the next day the hotel left a message on my home answerphone to call them in relation to some belongings I had left behind: Fortunately I got the message before my wife, leaving them my number was an amateurish mistake said one 42-year-old member who’s been married for five years.
“I’d been abroad for an encounter with a guy I met on the site. I covered all my traces except on my return home I bought duty free cosmetics as Christmas presents on my bank card. Weeks later, my statements were on the coffee table and my boyfriend saw ‘Gatwick’. ‘When did you go abroad?’ he asked. That was a tricky one.”
Travel seems to cause the most mishaps. MaritalAffair.co.uk members admitted to getting caught for things like forgetting to remove the airport luggage labels after going abroad when they weren’t supposed to be abroad or failing to divert phones to voicemail to disguise an overseas ringtone.
Even though most people who have dabbled with cheating websites clear their internet history as job number one. There are other traces they may not think of: “I’d had a naughty tryst in a hotel from a gorgeous girl from the site. I’d typed the hotel into Google Maps on my iPhone. The next time I opened the maps app, I was with my girlfriend. I had to close it fast before she saw!” said one 36 year-old.
Another more risqué philanderer said he’d selected the no-strings side of the dating site and met a woman who he had taken out on the first date. “If you are taking out a date in your own car, beware, the smell of her perfume can rub onto the seat belt and leave some tricky evidence behind.”
Women have to be just as ingenious. Many explained how they had to hide fancy underwear and condoms and some said they couldn’t remember which friends they said they’d been with at which times. None however admitted that they’d given their lover access to their email account. Perhaps David Petreaus thought he was being ingenious. Or perhaps it shows that he is more inept at covering his tracks than even the newest members of the marital affair website.
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