men on maritalaffair.co.uk spend an average of £170 on a gift for their temporary lover and an average £90 on their wives
David Petraeus, the former head of the CIA, got caught red handed when he granted access to his Gmail to his lover. For most men though, it’s not technology which exposes their secret flings but kindness.
A study has found that more affairs are exposed in the run up to Christmas than at any other time of year and it’s all to do with sloppy gift buying. Maritalaffair.co.uk, the dating site for married people who want to date, surveyed its members on how they go about buying for the spouse and a paramour around Christmas.
More than half of the male members admitted to getting caught, or nearly getting caught, over an affair in the month of December and nearly 90% of those cases involved present buying escapades.
Mysterious receipts for gifts that never make it to the wife’s Santa stocking is the number one gaffe. (Yes we’ve all seen the Love Actually scene yet we never learn!), followed by not throwing away packaging or branded shopping bags, or bringing home a business card from lingerie boutique or jewellers.
“I thought I’d got away with my affair until one year later, an email arrived asking me to renew a warranty for a necklace. Don’t ever give your email or name to sales staff.” said one 42 year-old from London.
David Montrose, author of the book Sugar Daddy Diary, a memoir of his times dating and funding a string of younger, glamorous women is an expert on hiding his tracks: “Buy a LOT of holiday gifts for friends, family, kids, wives, parents on the same day or over two days. That way you can easily hide two or three very nice items for the mistress. Open a separate bank account your spouse doesn’t know about and fund it over the year with very small regular cash deposits, rather than drawing out one big lump sum when the holiday season arrives – no one notices small amounts of cash.”
But gift buying gaffes doesn’t only get men into hot water with their wives, buying the wrong gift could cost them the affair. Perhaps that’s why they know they need to dig deep in their pockets. According to the research, men on maritalaffair.co.uk spend an average of £170 on a gift for their temporary lover and an average £90 on their wives or committed partner. Female members of the site reported a measly average £18 spend on their paramour.
Maritalaffair.co.uk founder Paul Graham says the Christmas gift is more important when the relationship isn’t about commitment: “Christmas is traditionally a family time so a mistress or lover can feel neglected. That’s perhaps why the married party feels they have to make a bit of effort to prove that the game’s still on!”
Gloria Bonds, author of How to Successfully Date a Married Man, has spoken to hundreds of men and women having affairs and knows what men should buy: “The worst gifts that mistresses received from their married suitors are gifts that connect them with the sexual aspects of the relationship such as: trashy lingerie, satin sheets, erotic massage oils, or a sex toy. By far, for some mistresses, receiving money was the most offense gift bordering on the notion or the undertones of a bonus for services rendered.
Other married men are generous and thoughtful with their gift giving—lavishing their mistresses with expensive jewellery, designer clothes and accessories, and even cars. Definitely, the gift or no gift at all is a strong indication of how he feels about the mistress in his life.”
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