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The positive feelings of affirmation and restored vitality generated by an affair can engender life choice changes for the good., a dating website for married people seeking affairs has revealed that being unfaithful can be one of the most effective ways to lose weight.

Undercover Lovers asked 3,000 of its adulterous members (1,500 of each gender) whether they’d lost weight since having an affair and if so how many pounds they’d shed.

53% of male and 62% of female respondents said they’d lost some weight after embarking on an affair. The philandering men lost an average of 6lbs (2.7kg) whilst the women claim to have lost 10lbs (4.5kg) on average. Some have lost much more. spokesperson and adultery expert Emily Pope observes: ‘Most commentary about adultery focuses on the negatives. Our study proves that there can be positive outcomes also. Having an affair can provide a huge psychological fillip.’

She continues: ‘It’s well known that we eat more, and less healthily, when we’re unhappy. Many members have endured years, and in some cases decades, of marital unhappiness before embarking on their affair. The instant joy and boost to self-esteem that many experience by having a new lover and the desire to look their best for them, can provide the perfect incentive to lose weight. And that’s before one counts the calories that can be burned from an affair’s increased aerobic activity in the bedroom!’

It’s estimated that making love can burn anything between 100-300 calories per 30 minute session and even just kissing can contribute, with a half hour of tongue tennis burning up to 70 calories and more if allied to a little foreplay.

Undercover Lovers report that the biggest weight loss recorded by a male respondent was 25lbs (11.3Kg) by Jeremy, a 55 year-old farmer from Hampshire. Of the women surveyed, Naomi, a 47 year-old call centre supervisor from Derby, lost most, a whopping 40lbs (18Kg) in a year.

She says: ‘I was very unhappy in my marriage, and as so many ladies do, comfort ate to compensate. Over the years I piled on the pounds until I weighed over 16st (101.6Kg). My husband and I stopped having sex. He used to joke about my weight and I felt so unattractive. I joined Undercover Lovers out of desperation for some love and warmth. I fairly quickly met my lover Tom via the site. We didn’t sleep together for some months, but since I finally plucked up the courage to do so early last year, I’m a changed woman, both inside and out. Tom compliments me and makes me feel good about myself. This makes me want to look my best for him. I’d previously tried every fad diet out there and none worked for me, I now realize because I was in the wrong frame of mind. Since meeting Tom, the pounds have fallen away. I’m now well on my way to my target weight of 12½st (79Kg) and I’ve had to buy a whole new wardrobe. Even my husband who’s normally oblivious to such things has taken note – but fortunately not enough to uncover my illicit affair!’

Emily Pope for comments: ‘The results of our survey suggest that having an affair can be a more effectual way of shifting unwanted weight, and much more fun, than sweaty sessions down the gym or the latest trendy diet. Many of our members have also reported that the feel good factor and improved sense of self-worth engendered by a new lover can unexpectedly improve marital relations at home, both in and out of the bedroom.’

Psychologist, authoress and Undercover Lovers resident relationship expert Dr Maryse Vaillant observes: ‘Some affairs are psychologically healthy. An affair can help leverage someone out of self-destructive behavior such as unhealthy eating. The positive feelings of affirmation and restored vitality generated by an affair can engender life choice changes for the good. An affair can also help renew a marriage by making an unhappy spouse confront what’s missing in their relationship with their husband or wife and motivate them to take positive steps to rebuild it.’


Undercover Lovers is the UK’s foremost extra-marital dating agency with over 695,000 members, which represents almost 2% of the UK’s entire married population. The site was created to provide a safe, discreet and non-judgmental environment, where married women and men can meet.

Undercover Lovers retain a stack of statistics on adultery and related subjects and are happy to share this information with interested journalists. We have experienced media representatives available to contribute to discussions on the subject, as well as female and male members willing to talk openly about their experiences on and off the site.


Emily Pope/Roger Dugarry
07795 326505

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