Why men don't tell their partners they take Viagra

Dr Fox Pharmacy (https://www.doctorfox.co.uk) asked 27,000 men whether they told their partners they take erectile dysfunction medication. The men were also asked why they did or did not tell their partners. Responses were anonymous.



Older men were much more likely to tell their partners. Most young men did not tell their partners, most older men did.

Younger men (under 40 yrs) - 7 out of 10 approx (67%) did NOT tell their partners.

Middle-aged men (40-60 years) - 3 out of 10 approx (33%) did NOT tell their partners.

Older Men (60+ years) - 2 out of 10 approx (17%) did NOT tell their partners.

It is striking that 83% of older men confided in their partners, compared with only 33% of younger men. It is also interesting to see how men who tell their partners value sharing and openness.


Reasons overview

Reasons for not telling their partner included embarrassment, fears the female partner would think she was unattractive, and damage to male pride.

Reasons for men telling their partner included a need for honesty in the relationship, a preference for sharing, the effects are quite obvious, and so they could plan to be together at the right time for it to work.


Reasons given for not telling their partner:

Feel less of a man
My pride would be seriously dented!
she would be likely to assume I no longer found her attractive…
embarrassment for me and they would be upset that I didn’t find them attractive
Male pride I am afraid! Also, my wife would probably make a big deal of it and take the p**s!
She would feel cheated and that the medication was responsible for the erection and not her.
I see no logical reason why I should. If I have a headache I take two tablets I do not see any reason to tell her that either.
I like her to be proud of my erection.
She would feel cheated and that the medication was responsible for the erection and not her.
She knows that I have taken it however I do not tell her each time I take it. I am a little embarrassed.
I don’t always need it and deciding when to tell would be tiresome. Also, I’m not monogamous but one partner does know.


Reasons given for telling their partner:

Because we love each other
Honesty is the foundation of a relationship. Without it the relationship falls down.
my wife is very satisfied with me taking the medication, it's saved my marriage thankfully
She was involved in the decision to take it
I used to keep it secret but now my wife knows it’s so much better, not having to take tablets and pretend all is good.
she knows I struggle to get it up and she loves it when I take one as it really helps
Because she found them so I had to tell her.
Do not want her thinking it’s her fault when I lose erection
I didn't until very recently. She said that knowing explained why there had sometimes seemed to be a "scheduling issue”.
Best to be honest, why hide a medical problem from your partner
I would be lying if I didn't tell her
Reduces anxiety
Because honesty is a must in a relationship and she is very supportive to me
Because I feel it is very important to be honest about my condition.
I prefer to be truthful with my partner.
Because we have a very open and frank relationship; which includes being straightforward about our lovemaking - what pleases one another
She knows I had problems and was happy for me to try something to rectify the situation.
She is understanding
It helps to plan and supports our relationship with honesty.
We are in this together and I need her support.
She reads all my credit and debit card returns - combine that with the fact that I had a raging boner every Sunday morning and it was all rather obvious!
She's my wife! It's obvious if I haven't taken my little blue pill.
It is important to both of us, I can't imagine not telling her
Because I can’t perform as much as she would like, but the tablets I take make it possible more often, which suits us both
She is involved in all my medical decisions.
She asked and said it was nice that I was trying to do something if I thought it was a problem
Because we have been married for 40 years and she knew about the problem as soon as I did.
To let her know that I still want to make love to her and will do anything to help me do that
It allows time for the medication to work - so she has to be aware of the need for some delay.
She is amazed and excited by the effect it has.


Dr Tony Steele, Medical Director, Dr Fox Pharmacy (https://www.doctorfox.co.uk):

"At Dr Fox Pharmacy, we help many thousands of men by giving advice and supplying erectile dysfunction treatment, including Viagra. We encourage men to tell their partners because this can take away stress. We understand it is not always easy to talk about these things, particularly for younger men or where there is a new partner. It is clear that men who share with their partners can see the benefits."

Dr Deborah Lee, Sexual Health Specialist at Dr Fox Pharmacy (https://www.doctorfox.co.uk):

"This survey has shown that our male patients at Dr Fox Pharmacy have had positive experiences from telling their partners they are taking Viagra."

"Men who have regular sex have better quality lives, and the health benefits are undisputed."

“We want to strongly encourage men this Valentine's Day to get on and have this conversation!"


Why should men tell their partners they are taking Viagra?

For Viagra to be at its most effective involvement of the sexual partner is very important.

Men with erectile dysfunction are not just looking for better erections – they want better sex.


How to use Viagra most effectively

European and US guidelines state that any erectile dysfunction treatment should be 'integrative' - including any factors which are 'couple-related.'

The partner's active support and satisfaction with treatment play a crucial role in the long-term successful outcome.

The need for a man to take Viagra should be viewed in the context of a relationship.

Erectile dysfunction often distresses the female partner. In mid-life, 47% of women also have sexual dysfunction, due to ageing, menopause, hormones, and other life stresses. To restore a satisfying sex life, attention is needed for both partners. There is a danger for his erectile dysfunction to become a fulcrum for argument, when in fact there are complex issues on both sides. In this scenario, Viagra is bound to fail.

Use of Viagra by the male partner can also result in improved female sexual function, with increased arousal, orgasm and better lubrication - study data: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0092623049046509...



Dr Deborah Lee, deborah@doctorfox.co.uk, tel. 07748961624