Which is the best EV to own to survive a zombie apocalypse?

Tesla car in zombie apocalypse cartoon
Tesla car in zombie apocalypse cartoon

These are strange times, perhaps the strangest of times. Life as we know it has come to an almost complete standstill. The world as we know it now feels much like an apocalyptic event so never has there been a better time to simply sit and reflect on life's mysteries and ponder some of the deepest unanswered questions. Such as, which is the best EV to own to survive a zombie apocalypse?
Picture this, a deadly virus has swept across the earth. Oh, hang on, that’s much of a new story! But let’s take it up a notch, the deadly virus turns all its victims into zombies and they are taking over the earth. You need to travel to the “safe zone” which is a mega journey to make, so which EV will you do it in?
Of course, we are living in a world which is heading totally electric and as with all post-nuclear zombie films, the petrol stations are all on fire, blowing black smoke into the atmosphere. Luckily for you, all EV’s run from renewable technology which is readily available to help you survive and keep your vehicles charged. Eco smart chargers such as the zappi, will be sure that you never run out of charge.

Meet The Contenders

We have narrowed our selection down to eight vehicles to represent a varied mix in both size, USP, manufacturer and price point. Though, we certainly welcome your views and opinions as to which electric vehicles you feel would be best equipped to survive a zombie apocalypse.
The seven main areas we'll be grading are;
vehicle range, to escape infested cities and travel further
vehicle speed and acceleration, to be able to escape danger quickly
habitability scored out of 10, in case you need to set up camp and hide in the vehicle for long extended periods
stealthiness scored out of 10, based on your ability to escape and drive off the beaten track, staying hidden and out of sight.
We'll also factor in the vehicles defence capabilities, in terms of shell, armour and protective features as well as, vehicle modes and special features which might help to keep you alive both physically and mentally during a particularly challenging period in history, scored out of 10. Finally the vehicle's special unique power.

Contender Number 1 - Tesla Model S

Elon Musk’s, The Tesla Model S boasts the furthest range of our eight vehicles with an incredible 405 miles on one charge, meaning it can drive the furthest away from any infested areas during a zombie apocalypse. The Tesla by nature is packed full of incredible features and modes, including ‘camp mode’, for when you have found a safe place to hide. Pop on the digital LED campfire which may help you to relax and block out the Gotham City-Esque crazed world outside. You may even get a reasonable night’s sleep.
The Tesla’s Bio Weapon Defence Mode sounds like it's straight out of the game Fallout and is vital during the event of a zombie apocalypse so that you don't become infected yourself. Tesla's vehicle automation features are on another scale, with the ability to summon your car to drive towards you, to gain that extra few meters when running from a herd of crazed zombies. Alternatively, you could stand far away from the vehicle and trick the zombies into thinking you are driving it as a distraction. This feature alone might just save your life in the unlikely (though we say that word now, with a sense of circumspect) event of a zombie apocalypse.

Zombie apocalypse survivability rating 7/10

Contender Number 2 - Harley Davidson Livewire, Electric Bike

The Harley Davidson Livewire has a reasonable range and is the choice of vehicle for Charley Boorman, who has ridden this bike the length of South America with companion Ewan McGregor, putting it in good stead as the vehicle of choice to survive a zombie apocalypse. However, its main flaw is it doesn't have a roof or provide any form of temporary home or shelter, thus giving it a non-existent habitability factor. However, it scores highly on stealth; I mean its a motorcycle, you could drive this thing through a shopping centre and up an escalator to make a quick escape. However, it might also be one of the noisiest vehicles of the pack, meaning we couldn't score it any higher than an 8 for stealthiness.
LiveWire comes with four pre-programmed modes: sport, road, range, and rain, along with three ride modes the rider can customise; 'and let's face it', it's always raining in zombie movies, so what better than a rain mode to improve your handling! Reflex Defensive Rider Systems; that title alone has certainly convinced us that this electric motorbike certainly packs a punch in the fight against zombies. However, as far as a protective shell; any bike would leave little in the way of defence against a zombie attack, so make sure you have a good helmet. However, the idea of riding a Harley Davidson whilst slaloming through a herd of crazed zombies down the motorway sounds quite a thrilling proposition!

Zombie apocalypse survivability rating 4/10

Contender Number 3 - Honda E

Why is the Honda E in the mix I hear you ask? For no other reason than this vehicle looks super cool! Admittedly this is a subjective opinion, it's as though this car entered a portal sometime in the mid-’80s and has been circling in an evolutionary abyss ever since, only to reappear amid a global pandemic, in the year 2020. The Honda E has almost been designed with one eye on the movie screens and almost defines the nature of the phrase, 'back to the future'. If you do find a moment to relax, the Honda E has its own built-in digital aquarium! Okay, it's pretty middle of the road in terms of whether you'd survive a zombie apocalypse owning this vehicle but national treasure Guy Martin owns one, so we would be willing to take that risk!

Zombie apocalypse survivability rating 5/10

Contender Number 4 - Smart EQ Fortwo

You would certainly never see Hobbs & Shaw in a manic speed chase, smashing up a couple of souped-up Smart EQ Fortwo's, though stranger things have happened. Equally, trying to visualise a swarm of zombies chasing this vehicle through the streets of London is quite a comical thought. It's as out of place as Sammy the Singing Salmon, at the church altar. However, there is something quite charming and down to earth about the prospect. The Smart mini cars have always been city cars and never boasted to be anything other than. However, we doubt you would need to worry about the availability of inner-city street parking in the event of a zombie apocalypse. It's the smallest car in our list and possibly the quietest, so scores reasonably highly on stealthiness if you temporarily need to hide behind a large rubbish bin. The Tridion Safety Cell is this vehicle's secret weapon which acts like a race car roll cage to give the driver ultimate protection. Although in the event you did roll the car, there are 25 zombies now heading straight towards you and you may be on foot from now on! Luckily, when the coast is clear, you might well be able to head back to the car and tip it over again.

Zombie apocalypse survivability rating 3/10

Contender Number 5 - MINI Electric

The MINI stands in good stead and has good genes in terms of a car that has seen its fair share of high-speed action. MINI is an automotive legend, a British born and built icon and will forever be associated with the classic scenes in The Italian Job and James Bond. A true silver screen machine, though one that's never quite given us the same level of pizzazz in the latter years. We can never deny the success of the MINI in terms of sheer sales, perhaps partly driven by pure stylistic nostalgia. However, we bet it's never been reviewed on how well it would fare, in the event of a zombie apocalypse!
Frankly, there isn't a great deal of cool stuff in the MINI to keep you blissfully unaware of the danger and doom surrounding you at every corner. Though, if needs must; like escaping a 5-star police scene of chaos and carnage on GTA 5, we would still drive the nippy little number whilst imagining the voice of Michael Kane telling us "you were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off".

Zombie apocalypse survivability rating 5/10

Contender Number 6 - Rivian R1T Pickup Truck

Now we are getting serious, and who doesn't love a pickup truck! Rivian states this is "a truck built for whatever you call a road" which is the perfect statement when trying to convince somebody that this is the best EV to own to survive a zombie apocalypse! With 300 miles of range in a vehicle packed with muscle and grit, it’s already a contender! This is a vehicle destined for the ultimate adventure, with the ease of driving across difficult mountainous terrain and setting up camp far away from danger! Like the Tesla, this vehicle has several tricks in its trunk, including Driver+ which is made up of 11 cameras, 5 radars, 12 ultrasonic sensors and a 360 degrees field of vision, which in turn gives you a totally automated driving experience where your car will steer by itself, automatically adjust speed and change lanes on your command. Rivian also claims “in our early years while operating in stealth, we hid our EV powertrain beneath the body of other trucks so we could test its robustness undercover” showing that this vehicle is stealthy by its very nature. Considering this EV’s size, it doesn't fall short on speed with an admirable 0 - 60 in just 3 seconds. This vehicle seems too good to be true in the fight against zombies.

Zombie apocalypse survivability rating 9/10

Contender Number 7 - Aspark Owl

The second Japanese contender in our list is the Aspark Owl, which is not only the fastest contender in our list but currently the fastest full-electric hypercar in the world, at 0 - 60 in less than 1.7 seconds! The range isn't too shabby either at 280 miles. It's also the closest car in the list to resemble batman's batmobile! However, we are starting to think the zombies would be the least of the danger, with the temptation to let loose and go crazy in this car through the abandoned city streets. There is currently very little information about the full capabilities of this vehicle, and other than pure speed, we are struggling to find how this vehicle might help you survive in the event of a zombie apocalypse. However, faced with that situation we wouldn't blame anybody for choosing this vehicle for the pure fun factor!

Zombie apocalypse survivability rating 3/10

Contender Number 8 – The Tesla Cybertruck

It's as though Elon had designed this car, purely for a zombie apocalypse. The tri-motor all-wheel-drive Tesla Cybertruck is yet to hit the mean streets, though is due to be released in winter 2021 (so let’s hope the zombies hold off until then!) The almost extraterritorial, futuristic design would have you believe this vehicle had been summoned through Doc Brown’s time portal from the year 3021. The Cybertruck is built with an exoskeletal shell made for ultimate durability and passenger protection, so we know it's ready for some zombie crushing! The Tesla armour glass and ultra-hard 30X cold-rolled stainless-steel structural skin has got you covered. Sit back and watch herds of zombies tear off their arms in utter frustration, whilst you slowly tuck into a pink lady apple, imagining the soothing sound of the lady from the M&S adverts muttering, "this is not just 500 hungry zombies trying desperately hard to break into my EV and eat me alive, this is 500 zombies failing epically”. Whilst you watch through the glass armoured glass of my Tesla Cybertruck"
This vehicle is surely the ultimate zombie destroying, apocalyptic surviving, monster machine!
Zombie apocalypse survivability rating 10/10

The Results
First Place - Tesla Cybertruck
Second Place - Rivian R1T Pickup
Third Place - Tesla Model S
Wooden Spoon - Smart EQ Fortwo

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