A new course has been designed to help singles come out of lockdown feeling more confident in their love life and ready for a better relationship than they’ve ever had before.
Many dating apps in the UK have seen a huge surge in usage during isolation. But how do you start to navigate the world of dating post-lockdown?
Authentic dating coaches Gavin Bloom and Christina Macnamara have created a 6-week course called the Groundwork to help people find (and keep) love in the 21st century.
It’s designed to shift your love life from the inside out and start with a clean slate in your next partnership - rather than heading straight into that familiar relationship Groundhog Day.
Gavin Bloom, authentic dating coach says “The reality is that many online daters feel that the covid crisis has made their quest for love even more important than before.
“In the scramble to find love, coronavirus has brought out the ‘dating overdrive’ instinct in many singles - which is ineffective at best and exhausting at worst.
“The truth is, like creating anything new, you need to make a plan for your love life, put solid foundations in place and get the tools and support you need to bring that plan to life.
“If you wanted the best job, you wouldn't just leave that up to chance - so why do that with your love life?"
Nobody can claim the ability to ‘teach’ love but there are some tried and tested methods that can help us to discover the blocks and barriers within ourselves that we have built against it from an early age.
Those are the same blocks that inform our decision to keep one foot in - and one foot firmly placed outside of any new relationship, for fear of being hurt yet again.
Christina Macnamara, co-founder of the Groundwork says: “For many of us, our ‘relationship blueprint’ was created at a very early age.
“As children, we needed to be loved. We were wholly dependent on the adults around us, so the way they acted towards us - and each other - has had a big impact on how we behave in relationships as adults.
“You may have learned that love was loud and shouty or silent and sulky and certainly not communicated through affection. As much as they drive you crazy - those are the types of relationships you will be instinctively drawn to.”
Christina adds: “We discovered that even the craziest patterns could be changed with some simple but effective techniques and we’ve supported hundreds of people over the years in building healthier relationships with themselves and others. The Groundwork course is an online extension of that.”
Christina and Gavin believe that their course could have a big impact on how we all do dating and relationships in the future.
They also believe that money should not be an obstacle to love and personal growth, so they’ve decided to give everyone the chance to choose how much they pay to take part.
Top tips for dating post-lockdown
Navigating dating anytime can be difficult but doing it during a global pandemic can feel even more daunting. Here are Christina and Gavin’s top tips for getting back on track:
1. Take it slow
You’ve heard of the slow food movement. How about the slow dating movement? It’s about being more mindful with dating, rather than endlessly scrolling dating apps and filling your calendar with dates, you focus on quality rather than the quantity of dates. Just like slow food, it’s all about enjoying the process and the pleasure of doing it well. Don’t get caught up in the stress and distraction of the dating treadmill, focus your energy and choose your connections carefully.
2. Show yourself some TLC
You’ve probably been spending more time on your own. It may not have been easy or comfortable, but rather than bouncing back and trying to be just like you used to be, consider whether anything has changed for you. The more you care for yourself, the less you’re expecting a prospective partner to ‘fix’ or complete you.
3. Be mindful
For many of us, our ‘relationship blueprint’ was created at a very early age. These behavioural patterns that you instinctively gravitate towards are not always pleasant - but they can be all too familiar. What would you like to see this time around? You may have noticed that you tend to end up in relationships that aren’t really good for you, or that you don’t like some of the ways you’ve acted in your love life. If you could make any changes, what would you do differently? What kind of relationship would you like to see this time around?
Case study of a women who has been through the course and found love is available.
Discover more about the Groundwork at theGroundwork.co.uk
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